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My pronouns and my opinions on pronouns

updated 2020-10-23

My pronouns are they/them. That means when referring to me you would (for example) say "They are Deven." I'm a singular person and choose to use they/them pronouns mostly for pedantic reasons; my "gender" (assuming such a thing exists) is my business alone and I see no reason to involve the public in that. Maybe if I become more comfortable with myself that will change.

This might come as a surprise to people. Most people I know get my pronouns wrong. Nobody really asked me... I'm cool with reaping the privilege that comes with being (perceived as) a male and currently fill out government forms so though I'm not one.

In general when it comes to pronouns I really agree with Richard Stallman's article on genderless pronouns in English as it stands today , except when it comes to "they" violating English grammar. I find "they" and "them" to fit very well into English when used as singular pronouns and when I need to refer to a thing between individuals and groups of people I just use the proper noun. I, too, will respect plural people whether this plurality is due to internal or external causes, and I also will respect "xenogendered pronouns" (being gendered pronouns that are outside of the set of "traditional pronouns" that is I/you/we/he/she/they/etc) but please just let me use they/them because I can barely remember names.